2/5 Stars

When
Sunday, 11/10/19 @ 13:30
Where
Cameli’s Pizza – Little Five Points, East Atlanta
Who
My wife and I
What
Shared: Mozzarella Garlic Bread
Hannah: Sweet Tea & Basil, Salami, Tomato, Mozzarella Pizza
Alex: Coke & Meatball Marinara over Penne

Parking in Atlanta on the weekend can be difficult, particularly during the post-church Sunday lunch rush. Today was no different, but we eventually found something not too far away and enjoyed a pleasant walk to our destination down Moreland Avenue. We noticed that several other restaurants looked busy and a couple had lines stretching out the doors. And upon entering Cameli’s Pizza in Little Five Points we noticed we were the only customers. Several employees greeted us warmly. Then we walked upstairs, seating ourselves in the open-air outdoor/indoor patio.

My wife noticed a clump of hair on the floor near our table, but graciously declined to point it out to me until after we left, most likely knowing that it would have grossed me out.

For drinks I ordered a Coke and Hannah got the Sweet Tea. The Coke was fine, but Hannah remarked that the tea was unbearably sweet. We also ordered an appetizer of Mozzarella covered Garlic Bread. At first glance, it looked delicious. The portion size (4 thick slices of bread) was substantial. Though we did order garlic bread, we both noticed in our first bites that the amount of garlic was overpowering. I tore a hunk of bread in half and watched as mounds of crushed garlic (the same stuff from the jar found at the grocery store) fell onto my plate along with pieces of unmelted cheese.

Upon a closer inspection, it looked as if the cook grabbed a sub roll, cut it into four pieces, spooned out ungodly amounts of garlic all over them, sprinkled some shredded cheese on top, nuked it in the microwave for ten seconds and called it good. He should have called it shit. However, the marinara dipping sauce accompanying the garlic bread was not terrible. It was good, not great… a bit on the watery side with not a whole lot of flavor.

The Pizza Hannah ordered had salami, tomato, and mozzarella chunks with a basil/pesto sauce. At first glance, it looked okay. It was not something you’d see and think “Oh, I bet that’s gonna be goooood.” It just kind of made us both think, “Yeah. I guess that’s pizza.”

Hannah called an audible just before trying her first bite and removed all of the tomatoes. I might have left them on had she not mentioned their appearance. Glancing at the plate where they were discarded, I noticed they were all yellowish. Some parts even looked almost translucent. They looked unappealing, so we did not try them. But to be fair, they might have been wonderful, so who knows? We both ate two slices and stopped short. The first words out Hannah’s mouth regarding the salami were “It tastes like old sandwich meat.”

It was not bad pizza. It just was not good pizza. It reminded me of “The Office” episode where Michael orders pizza and everyone gets upset because he ordered from the place that makes awful pizza. And while I would not go as far as Kevin Malone and say “It’s like eating a hot circle of garbage,” I will say there are absolutely better places to grab a slice in East Atlanta than Cameli’s Pizza. There is a reason the restaurant was completely empty.

While the pizza was mediocre and the garlic bread was bad, the meatballs with marinara over penne pasta I ordered was not quite as disappointing. Now, there are worse meals to be had, and I have had my fair share, but I would not count this as one of them. The meatballs had good flavor, but the marinara (like with the bread) was a little lite on flavor and again, pretty watery. The pasta was fine, but it was clear that it had not been boiled with any amount of salt, as each bite of naked noodle was tasteless. The sauce was dramatically improved by copious amounts of Parmesan cheese and red pepper flakes. But I didn’t want to continue eating something simply because I ordered it, and would rather not fill up on something that generally made me feel uneasy. It just wasn’t worth it.

After we got the bill, our waitress asked how everything was and I – politely as possible – mentioned that it was just “okay” and not all that great. She was very adamant that next time we do not like our food to please let her know so the kitchen can remake it for us. It was a generous offer and much appreciated. We made sure to tip her well, as she was very attentive, friendly, and understanding of our experience. But Hannah and I both remarked to each other after we left that we probably would not have asked them to remake our meals. They didn’t get anything wrong. They just didn’t make good food. Everyone there was nice and we wish them well, but we probably won’t be back.

Outside of Cameli’s Pizza

Meatballs with Marinara over Penne Pasta